Question:

Toma ask’s:  In response to your bio statement — ”I realized that self worth and a sense of purpose can never come from the outside, they must be found within”.   Please tell me how one achieves self worth and purpose when “the outside” is so influential? If there is little self confidence and strength within, how do you find it ?

Answer:

Dear Toma,

I believe that we live in a society that is very externally based; many of us are taught that how much money we earn and what clothes we wear or what car we drive somehow makes a difference in how important we are as individuals; I think that each one of us counts and each one of us has impact everyday regardless of these factorsthus, “The outside” is so influential because that is what has been taught to you (and many of us) during our early development; I am not suggesting that we blame our caregivers but suggesting that this is something that can be undone; I think the first step lies in becoming aware of what gets in the way in you being self confident; pay attention in particular when your not feeling self confident and notice what chain of events led you there; this will allow you to work backwards and identify which particular “outside” event triggered your “inside” event (you not feeling self confident); with this awareness will come mastery and eventual freedom of the link that ties the outside to the inside; when your feeling stuck you can always ask yourself: ”What would a self confident person do in this situation?”