Question:

aAshrader writes: I’m a very successful professional that keeps making the same mistakes at work — I’m getting physically involved with others at work — why do i keep making these mistakes?

Answer:

Dear Acshrader,

I think themes in our behavior are real opportunities to learn about ourselves; you call your behavior a “mistake” which suggests that you are aware that this behavior somehow puts you at risk; the question then becomes, why would you put yourself at risk? 

Our desire to have a physical companion has many layers; the first being biological; at this primordial level, we want to assure that our genetic material will be passed onto future generations; thus, we seek out compatible mates for reproduction; beyond that, there are many layers of psychological reasons that drive our choices in who we seek to get physically involved with; Sigmund Freud talked about the “repetition compulsion”; what this meant was that we would repeat behaviors until we were aware of what was actually determining those behaviors; thus, if you truly want to understand what is driving you to repeatedly get physically involved with co-workers, you must seek understanding of what is determining your choices; as long as you continue to get physically involved with your co-workers, your putting yourself at risk for unpredictable consequences; it would we worthwhile for you to further explore this pattern of behavior.

A few questions that come to mind are:

Why would you put yourself at risk?
What do you get other than physical companionship in these relationships?
Is being in these transient relationships worth your job?